Rabbi Rabbi spreads word on helping kids

Originally published in The Miami Herald, written by Bea L. Hines

For more than a decade, the streets of New York were his synagogue.

“And in my synagogue,” Rabbi Yehudah Fine said, “people didn’t pay dues; they’d already paid the dues of life.”

Today, this blue jeans and baseball cap wearing rabbi has come off the streets and has entered the nation’s schools — both public and Jewish day schools — synagogues, community centers and wherever he is called. His message, though, remains the same: finding hope in lost kids’ lives and teaching parents how to find that hope.

Fine was in South Florida recently, speaking at the Rabbi Alexander Gross Hebrew Academy in Miami Beach and at the David Posnack Jewish Community Center in Davie on Nov. 14. On Nov. 16, he spoke at the Hillel Community Day School in North Miami Beach, and at the Jewish Book Fair at the Alper Jewish Community Center in South Dade.

“Part of it has to do with the way I was raised,” Fine said, after speaking at the Alexander Gross Hebrew Academy. “My parents taught us the highest value is caring for others. I can’t turn away from the despair and trouble I see in others. Nobody should; the health of our society depends on how we take care of each other.”

Fine, who is married and is the father of three children, is also known as the Times Square Rabbi because of his work with the street youths in New York City. He is a longtime champion of the rights and safety of the downtrodden.

In the introduction to his book, Times Square Rabbi, he said: ”… My professional choices in life dovetail with my spiritual need to be on the edge lending a hand. Those choices began long ago when I created a school for the children of migrant farmworkers in the Sacramento Valley and continued with the creation of an alternative high school on the coast of northern California.”

In 1982, when he moved to Brooklyn, N.Y., he carried with him the burden of the children who fall through the cracks of life and founded the Jewish Family Institute. It was the beginning of his work with adolescents in crisis on New York City streets. His mission started with a phone call from a frantic mother about her runaway son. The son was in a shelter home.

“The phone call from that desperate mother was no accident,” Fine said. “I was in the right place at the right time. And it pulled me into the world of the street, the dangerous and dark world that is filled with our precious kids.”

Working with established runaway shelters over the years, Fine not only has counseled and prayed with, and for, thousands of youths; he has also helped many of them find a clean and safe place to sleep.

“Sadly, most of the kids do not survive,” Fine said. “Nobody’s looking for them. So they die of AIDS, drug overdoses, illnesses, murder … on the dirty streets.”

“The greatest sin is for a child to be born … and not know someone cares about him. I did what I could; I loved them, spent time with them. In turn, these kids blessed me. They shared with me their hopes and dreams and aspirations; their fears and pain. And they taught me great lessons about forgiveness and reconciliation.”

After about a decade, Fine said, he had to get off the street.

“The sleepless nights and the violence takes its toll. Besides, I’m 52 now and I’ve taken my message into the schools. I want to reach all the children. I’ve touched the lives of some children who have even risked their lives for me. So when I speak to kids in schools, I honor those street kids … I bring them with me,” he said.

He has been visiting schools for about two years now and has spoken to about 12,000 high school youngsters.

“I bring them firsthand knowledge of the streets,” he said.

One of the youngsters Fine touched when he spoke at the Hebrew Academy was Thomas Buchberg, a 16-year-old junior. “I try to learn from the mistakes of others,” Buchberg said. “If I am involved in a scene, I try to see what is the smart thing to do.”

Fine urges teens to form “deep relationships” not only with their peers but also with adults. This way, they will learn how to talk about the tough things in life, he said.

While he has helped thousands of children in the years he has worked the streets, Fine said he also learned a valuable lesson: “I learned that nothing people could do to one another — nothing — can dirty the core of a person’s heart. That is a very holy and precious thing and that was the part of them [the street kids] I loved.”

Today, when he speaks to parents and guardians, he tells them to listen to their children, to be able to forgive them. Then he gives them these guidelines:

• Tell your children you love them and why. • Stay in touch with your kids’ world, their music and their friends. Make your home a place for their friends. • Stay in close communication with your child. Don’t use poverty or overwork as excuses. • Be flexible. What worked when your child was 9 is irrelevant at 16. And what worked for your parents when raising you might not work for your child today. • Don’t let mistakes as a parent make you stop trying. Children learn mightily from how you deal with life. • Have a working relationship with your spouse or former spouse. This helps build self-confidence and strength in your child. • Parents don’t have to be perfect. Let your child know about how you struggle with important issues. • Be prepared to get competent professional help if your child is in serious trouble. • Put prime time into your family life. Invest in family at least what you invest in your career. • Admit your feelings of discomfort in discussing the hot topics (sex, drugs, etc.). Sharing your vulnerabilities helps build your teen’s character.